Harry Potter Is Not Gay
by chosenpotter
Summary: In which Harry increasingly denies that he's gay (even though everyone believes otherwise), Hermione's having no shit from anybody, and Ron is clueless as usual. And of course Malfoy draping himself across Harry's desk every bloody day isn't helping.


Harry Potter was not gay. Absolutely not. There was no way in hell.

But yet, everyone kept thinking so.

"Hey, Harry." Dean said as he was passing Harry's desk. "I have a great bloke for you to meet up with."

"But...Dean, I'm not gay! How many times have I told you that?" Harry exclaimed, a bit outraged.

Dean snorted. "Sure, Harry. Whatever you say."

Harry put his head down on his desk with a soft clunk, cursing the world for playing such a cruel trick on him. Did everyone think he was gay? What had he even done to make them assume that?

"Morning, Potter!" came a cheery voice from the doorway.

Harry looked up with a scowl to Draco Malfoy, his partner. Draco held two coffee cups in his hands, and was leaning against the doorway with a smirk.

"Just get in here already." Harry grumbled, putting his head back down. "We've got loads of paperwork today."

"No 'good morning, Draco' for me? I'm hurt, Potter." Draco put a hand to his chest. "And here I thought you were starting to like me."

"Would you just- Listen, I'm not in the mood." Harry rubbed his temples. "I think I'm getting a migraine."

"Poor Potter." Draco crooned, putting one of the cups on his desk. "I won't bother you. For now. No guarantees for later."

Harry resisted the urge to smack his head on his desk repeatedly, settling for sipping out of his coffee cup instead. This was going to be a long day.

"Harry! Glad you could make it!"

Harry was swept into a hug by Hermione as he walked into the Flying Firebolt. He chuckled and patted her back.

"Good to see you too, Hermione." he said as she let go and stepped back to look at him.

She wore the deep blue robes of the Unspeakable Department, her bushy hair tied back into a loose bun. She rested her hands over her stomach as they sat at one of the tables near the back.

"How's Mini-Weasley doing?" Harry asked.

"I keep having to run to the bathroom about five times a day." Hermione groaned. "And I've still got seven months of hell to go! Hopefully it'll get better from here, but I haven't even gotten fat yet."

"You'll be fine." Harry said, scouring over the menu in front of him.

"As if. How's Draco?" Hermione asked him, looking over her own menu.

Harry was a bit startled by the question, raising an eyebrow. "What d'you mean? He's as annoying as usual."

Hermione gave him a small smile. "Hanging around your desk like always?"

"Yeah. I really hate him sometimes, no matter how much Kingsley insists that we're...what does he say, 'magically compatible', I think it is." Harry said, deciding on the chicken salad.

Hermione merely flagged the waiter down, ordering the same thing Harry did and a bottle of cold Butterbeer for each of them.

"Well, perhaps he's right." she finally said as the waiter walked off with their menus. "Anyways, I think there's been more than enough tension between you two over the years."

"Hey, Hermione, I have a question." Harry tried to change the subject. "Do you...do you think I'm gay?"

"Hmm? Oh, absolutely." Hermione replied, ignoring Harry's outraged cry. "I mean, don't you even remember sixth year?"

"B-But...that's because he was up to something, Hermione! I didn't have _feelings_ for him!"

"Sure. Okay. Look, here's our food."

Harry gave Hermione a nasty look as they began eating, to which she merely raised an eyebrow.

"What about Ginny, then? I loved her, and she was a girl." Harry said, but Hermione shook her head at him.

"I think that's the reason you broke up with her. She didn't have the right parts." she said, chasing the last piece of chicken around her plate with her fork. "But she's perfectly happy now with Neville."

"Whatever." Harry grumbled, putting money on the table so he could pay for lunch.

"Thanks, Harry!" Hermione smiled at him as she rose and they walked towards the door. "Same time next week?"

"Of course." Harry kissed her lightly on the cheek, and she kissed his in return before they both Apparated out.

"Where were you, Potter?"

Harry shook his head as he stepped out of the Apparation Point, heading towards his office. He couldn't even go somewhere without being harassed by his partner.

"Potter, I asked you a question." Draco said snottily as he followed Harry down the hall.

"I went to the moon." Harry said sarcastically. "Where d'you think I went? I went to lunch with Hermione, same as I do every week."

"Hmm. Okay." Draco said, sliding into his chair as they reached their shared office.

Harry sat in his own chair and began sorting through his inbox. Sometimes he thought Draco was just trying to invite himself along.

Draco and Hermione had both gone back to Hogwarts for their last year, while Harry and Ron did not. Something had happened there (Hermione wouldn't tell him what), and suddenly the two of them were friendly.

To be honest, it confused the hell out of him.

"Hey. I think the Prophet's here." Draco said, looking at the window.

"Go get it then." Harry replied, not looking up.

Draco gave a dramatic moan and got up, sloping over to the window. "I have to do every bloody thing- Ooh, there's a story about Celestina Warbeck! She's in a scandal right now, with one of her exes."

Harry gave a dismissing grunt as Draco sat back down. He really could care less.

Harry was grateful as his day ended. It had seemed longer than usual.

"Any plans tonight, Potter?" Draco drawled as he grabbed his coat.

"Sit around in my sweatpants and watch the telly." Harry replied, shrugging on his own coat. "Maybe get takeaway."

"How unrefined." Draco scoffed.

"We aren't all pretty princesses like you, Malfoy." Harry shot back, heading for the Apparation Point.

"Goodnight, Potter." Draco continued like he hadn't even heard Harry. "See you tomorrow."

Harry gave him a jaunty little wave, then Apparated to his flat.

Harry had been living in Grimmauld Place for a time, but it had held too many memories for him. He gave it to Kreacher to care for, who was more than happy to do so, and moved into a flat in the quieter side of London.

The flat was a nice size, and Harry enjoyed living there. There were quaint shops and restaurants nearby, and a park across the way that he would take Teddy to on occasion.

Harry went upstairs to change out of his Auror robes, then grabbed some takeaway leftovers out of the fridge and popped them into the microwave to warm up.

Sure, it might seem a bit lonely to some. But it was how Harry liked it.

The microwave gave a loud beep and Harry took the Chinese box out, sticking a pair of chopsticks in it and flopping down on the couch.

He put on the TV for background noise, scanning over the Evening Prophet as he ate.

But yet, he couldn't stop thinking about what Hermione had said.

 _I think there's been more than enough tension between you two over the years._

Yeah, from being enemies, of course.

 _She didn't have the right parts._

Parts? Of course Ginny had the right parts! It wasn't like he wanted a cock up his arse.

 _Or maybe you do,_ said the Hermione-sounding part of his brain.

"Shut up." Harry snapped at empty air. "I most certainly don't."

And he most certainly _wasn't_ gay.


End file.
